27 Lessons, which aren't all lessons, from another step on Curtis Mayfield's Stairway of 'Move On Up'

1. Somewhere out there is a man playing snap with his crocodile in the back of his house..

2. Or worse...strip poker.

3. Some drinks require a little chewing.

4. There's a strong correlation between number of oranges peeled and consumed and the love, or lack there of, you have for your work.

5. Medicinal chocolate only breeds a desire for further illness. 

6. Yellow peas are cool as a penguin

7. Ask and ye shall receive. What's up Marcus P!

8. Buy the same car in the same colour as your buddy and you're destined to be caste up at the same time.

9. You can be eye candy without realising.

10. Eye candy is nice, but it's better to be soul food.

11. A great boss is defined by an ability to spit the lyrics to DMX, Ludacris or Nate Dogg without really knowing the words. 

12. Work too fast and the fat kid on a rollercoaster might just wind up laughing back at you.

13. Tank related google searches can get a lot stranger than you think.

14. Contrary to public opinion, some fire alarms aren't loud enough.

15. Freeze a frube. Even if you have to borrow a freezer..

16. ..you won't regret it.

17. Replacing a burger bun with two glazed ring doughnuts will give a taste to your understanding of calories.

18. Keep it G.A.N.G.S.T.A... And if you lose your way, Nate Dogg will help you find your way back..

19. ..maintain your Gangsta, and A Party We Will Throw Now.

20. Wood chips can be mistakenly sold as almonds.

21. Sometimes you've just got to get to the spot.

22. Some foods have to be consumed before they are smelt. 

23. Shoelaces are usually sold in pairs.

24. Test tubes don't always contain babies and corrosive chemicals. 

25. To get hench requires an undying, religious devotion to fast food.

26. The Harry Potter theme music is best listened to in a storm.

27. Shopping channel addiction is real.